I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
