He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
false alarm, still single
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
