in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
