think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Randomize
