apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
