Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
