i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Randomize
