While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
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