i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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