I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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