toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
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