Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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