well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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