honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
