bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize
