people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
