whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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