Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
