I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Randomize
