i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
