So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
He had one of those small greek statue penises
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
