She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
