dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
