life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Just puked most of my soul out..
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
