Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
