Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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