you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
