im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
