he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
