if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
