Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
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