im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Randomize
