So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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