I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
