everyone is single if you try hard enough
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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