Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
