What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
