By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Alive.
So much puke
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
