Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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