last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
