ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
