you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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