she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
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