she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize