i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
