You're my little dorito
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
