And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
