at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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