K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
she smelled like a LAN party
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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