he thought i was a dude.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
