you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
no more duck duck goose at the bar
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize