he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
