we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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