My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
