The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
