Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
