i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
