i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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