Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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