She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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