I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize