There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
