if only i could text you this smell
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize