so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize