so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
